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Dwarf Fortress: Oh, We're Doing This

Sit yourselves down in here and have a chinwag about whatever takes your fancy.

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Dwarf Fortress: Oh, We're Doing This

Postby Zeor » Wed Jan 06, 2016 7:59 am

You remember Dwarf Fortress, right? Of course you do, because you rule. It's the game where everybody's dwarves and makes fortresses. Then usually dies. And it's time to tell the true story of Dream17. As it began with seven dwarves, who I think called themselves The Perplexing Dreams or something like that.

It all starts with a world.

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We can settle anywhere we want in this big ol' little world. I found us a spot in this canyon sort of space. Plenty of mountain to dig into, a nice little stream, and some trees. Classic. I think we're within raiding range of a goblin settlement, though, so pencil that in on our "possible future cause of death" list.

And so off we go in our one humble little wagon. Ready to strike the earth once more and raise a new, grand mountain hall that will make our dwarfy little civilization proud. And what will we call it? Well that's obvious.
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Here's us! And the wagon. If you're not familiar with the game and its graphics, dwarves are the little smiley faces. Everything else is all the other things.

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Here's also us. I'm the miner because I always am. Slick can be my stoneworking bro on masonry and occasional backup mining as the need might arise. Sup is all ready to carpent. Mad is the only one of us with any people skills, so he can be our manager dude. Bloopy will mine for fish, Pilger was supposed to be the only one of us who knows his way around an axe, and Viceroy will do whatever.

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Let's see how well I remember my Fortressing 101 (not well). I mark the wagon to be disassembled, which almost everybody immediately starts doing with enthusiasm. While you girls busy yourself with that, I'll start digging our home.

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Sup lays waste to a couple of trees. Wow, you get a lot more wood from those things than you used to. Those Os we're seeing are actually just their trunks. The branches span quite some space overhead. Most everybody else is happy to move objects to makeshift stockpiles while Sup and I do all the work around here.

Oh, Bloopy immediately went off to catch some fish, and just as immediately started doing a pretty good job of it. Or he caught some turtles anyway. River life. Edible, probably.

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First constructions we'll need are beds and doors so we can at least have shoddy little bedrooms. We bang together quick carpentry and masonry workshops using all this readily available chalk stone. Sup cranks out seven beds so fast I didn't even see it happen, while Slick busies himself with lugging big heavy rocks around and making doors out of them. Meanwhile, in typical Zeor fashion, I quickly strike some manner of noteworthy mineral. Pyrite, evidently.

...Which is yellow...

Let's move on.

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Check out this cat. He's a legendary climber. Awesome.

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Looks like we were a little slow on those bedrooms. Most everybody drops where he is for the night. Or a few guys tried to nest in the remains of the wagon.

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Hey look at this! Mad's using a wheelbarrow. Maybe this means we'll have fewer instances of dwarves walking back and forth across the whole fortress carrying a seed.

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Then he parks it and goes to sleep in the chalk pile. Meanwhile I pass out with my face in the food. I think this makes the the dwarfiest dwarf here so far.

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Oh snap it looks like we've had some action. Looks like a cuddly lil' doe-eyed otter came too close and got tore up by one of our dogs. OH THE CARNAGE! *hBBaRAraFFFrf*
Wait. Evidently this color scheme turns blood red into some sort of maroony purple. This isn't gonna work. I'll have to find another one. I wonder what one I used to use...

That's a good enough start for now though. We should have basic furnishings in place pretty soon.
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Re: Dwarf Fortress: Oh, We're Doing This

Postby ViceroyOfMonteCristo » Wed Jan 06, 2016 3:13 pm

Ooh, this should be fun. I've only seen Dwarf Fortress played once or twice, but hopefully I can decipher what the hell's going on in the mess of ASCII. It looks like the computer vomited up some Linux.
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Re: Dwarf Fortress: Oh, We're Doing This

Postby Pilger » Wed Jan 06, 2016 5:10 pm

I understand very little of all this. Heh.

Will try to catch up as you go. Nice jerb!
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Re: Dwarf Fortress: Oh, We're Doing This

Postby Zeor » Thu Jan 07, 2016 5:03 am

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Let's see, color schemes... There we are. This one isn't too harsh, and it makes that smeared otter properly colored. Onwards!

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Speaking of splattered critters, evidently a good majority of our crew witnessed the event, but not a one of them gave a damn. You can bet a bunch of elves would be cryin' over it. Hell, everybody here was probably drunk.

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Our bedrooms have shaped up pretty well. Bare as hell for right now, but you gotta start somewhere.

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Zeor's already gotten pretty fast with that pickaxe. Already time to move our workshops inside. Oh, right, Slick's helping.

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It's summer now, and boom. Immigrants. That seems a little head of schedule. Good thing we have tons of bedrooms and food and oxygen and

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Aaand we've already exhausted our supply of actually active Dream17 members, so expect the names to start getting weird fast. Of course, some of these guys will need to be repurposed. S2K, for example. I don't think we're going have a suit of armor on the property until a goblin shows up wearing it, so, congrats on your new mining duty. Now Slick can focus on making the millions of doors we need.

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Things sure got hustly and/or bustly in here pretty suddenly, that's for sure. We're uncovering enough ominousdoombadstone to keep our new jeweler happy. Viceroy seems to be settling into a role as a maker of little stone crafts. Trinkets that we'll be able to trade for food later, maybe.

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Did I mention food? I don't think anybody's done thing one about getting any, besides the fishers. Splapp is a ranger, I guess, so maybe he can hunt us some meat. Meanwhile I can at least get us set up with a kitchen, fishery workshop and a still. No idea if anything that grows around here can make hooch.

We also have a little dining room. Furnished with wood! Faaaancyyyyy.

Come to think of it I don't think we have any dwarves who are ready to do kitchencrafts. Maybe that's something Pilger can do. Where is he?
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I guess he got lost on the way to the bedrooms and decided to sleep on top of the cavern. Maybe he hasn't shaken that Oregon Trail mentality yet. Rest well, weirdo.

I should try to figure out farming, and beekeeping, since we somehow got two dwarves with an interest in that. None of this will prevent our eventual gruesome end, but we'll try it.

Guh, I feel like my older DF threads had a little more pizazz. Maybe I'm just tired. Here's a map of what we have so far. Evidently I did a crummy job on picking the specifications of our plot. Got a lot of open field and not much mountain. Oh well.
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Re: Dwarf Fortress: Oh, We're Doing This

Postby Slick » Thu Jan 07, 2016 6:24 pm

It's hard to wrap my head around this but I'm starting to remember. I think I only played this once. Ever.
But man I lucked out. I'll probably still die right away but I don't think my character is such a wuss in this game.
... but I'm 83 YEARS OLD. Let's hope I don't die from breaking my hip sitting down on a toilet.
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Re: Dwarf Fortress: Oh, We're Doing This

Postby Zeor » Thu Jan 07, 2016 6:48 pm

Eh, 83 in dwarf years isn't that bad.
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Re: Dwarf Fortress: Oh, We're Doing This

Postby Zeor » Fri Jan 08, 2016 5:14 am

Man alive, pull up a =ash wood throne= because a whole bunch of Dwarf Fortressy crap sure just happened.

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Haha! Splapp and Bring Back Frog like each other. ♥
Yeah, dwarf genders are pretty evenly ratioed, so a lot of you guys are gonna be ladies. That's the way of it. I imagine there's not much difference anyway really.

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Free-spirited young'un worMatty bought a pet... uhh... poult. I guess it's a bird of some sort. Because poultry. Their description seems to suggest that they're good eatin', but dwarves tend to lose their minds when they lose their pets.

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No rest for us miners. Not to be morbid, but better to be prepared: We're digging out a little cemetery space, and an out-of-the-way place to heap charred corpses that haven't yet been entombed. We're also clearing out that land formation in front of our main doorway because I just realized autumn is chugging along and we'll be receiving a trade caravan any moment.

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Ah.

They brought a wagon, but our depot is evidently utterly inaccessible to it. We'll need to put down some roads. Maybe bridge the river. All in due time. They can still bring whatever they can carry.

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Worm Mad lays out the plans for a trade depot. Slick is supposed to build it, but he's in some sort of door-making trance. Eventually he puts it all together in a cartoon dust cloud. All of this is happening literally while the traders are in transit to it.

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Here's this guy from back home. Yes, let us discuss. Our situation is, hm, fine but not very sustainable.

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I... Okay, I thought we were discussing Splatterbelch's situation, but current events is fine too. Taking back a dwarven fortress from the forces of darkness is a pretty newsworthy event, to be fair.

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They ask us what we want. I say, mostly seeds, and some weapons, and probably some miscellany I can't currently remember. Leather and stuff. They'll bring more of these things and apparently price-gouge the utter crap out of us.

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In turn, this is what the merchants would like to see from us. Pfffft. Like we can make any of those things. Well, maybe we'll be able to sell a prepared meal or two.

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Off he goes.

Poor choice of words, chief. If that's the case, your fortunes might be screwed.

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Meanwhile, everybody hurriedly rushes our crafts out to the depot. Hey, we actually have some nice stuff in here.

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HK is like a lil' kookaburra with her keen eye for shiny things. She's done some pretty decent jeweling.

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So pretty decent, in fact, that she's dabbling in making art with them. Like this picture of that time she heard about this one dude who bonked a goblin once this one time that it knocked a tooth right out of him. No foolin'. I wonder if there's a suitably Batman-style "KAPOOOWWWW" bubble involved.

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Viceroy, too, has taken to his new trinketmaker job with relish. His choice of material is a little more hardcore, illustrating a human who killed an alligator once. This alligator must have killed a bunch of guys.

HK saw it and decided it needed a bunch of pointy things all over it. I'm not arguing. This is a badass figurine.

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So I guess this scepter has rings of starry-shaped pyrites around it? Snazzy as hell. It's only chalk, so not fit for a king, but maybe fit for like a mayor or a district manager or a fast food supervisor or something.

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The dwarves did a fine job of getting the depot ready to go in panic mode.

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I thought Mad the expedition leader might have a hand in the trade, but I guess he got the munchies. At least he's having himself some real food. I guess. What's he got there?

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Leaf biscuits, made with leaf and leaf. Mmmm-mm.

I guess it's like a salad pocket.

Not very dwarfy.

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In any case, while he's off nibbling his rabbit chow, Sup takes charge of the trade. Like he's a community administrator or something. How ruthlessly absurd.

We traded a whole pile of stuff for... a couple barrels of hooch, some rope, and a bin of leather or something. There's an above-zero chance I just got us totally ripped off. Too late now. I guess this is what you get when your settlement hasn't invented currency.

Sup goes straight back to work. Dude loves him some carpentry.

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Oh fiery crap what are you guys doing here

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We got new dudes, just about as soon as I finished making the last wave of bedrooms. No sweat for the experienced miner Zeor. Plus we got another carpenter, Run, and another mason, Munkee. Slick's been cracking right along on those doors, so Munkee gets the unenviable task of smoothing the stone in the main hallways to make them all pretty. That'll probably make him really buff somehow. I put up another carpentry shop next to the existing one so Sup and Run can go tandem on making beds, chairs and tables. Also buckets and bins. Which maybe someone will use or something.

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Right, either that or Sup will abruptly drop his work and start speaking in tongues.

He kicks Run out of his workshop, which is perplexing considering there was a vacant one right next to him -- wanted to use the one he was used to, I guess -- and drags a log into it. Then he hops over and grabs a pyrite from the pile.
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Oh. Just wood and pyrite. Good. Not gonna pull a Raycaster on us or anything.

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Huzzah! Splatterbelch's first artifact. A fancy-ass bed. Told you that guy loves beds.

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(S)he is out of his(her) mind with satisfaction, and has a right to be. Also evidently she hangs around and gets pleasured by the architecture a lot.

Wait, that hovel of a dining room is considered legendary? Man your standards are low. Maybe the dwarves are just so used to everything being carved out of lumpy stone that wooden furniture is a real luxury thing.

Speaking of which, let's see that artifact.
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It's... a little underwhelming. I mean you used jewels to make jewel shapes. Ah whatever, good job.
I'm pleased to see that, these days, we're allowed to use artifacts instead of just having their creators carry them around until judgment day. This is now Sup's bed. That'll probably make the rest of his life.

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We'll definitely be surviving the winter, anyway, though our records are really imprecise because nobody can count. That last wave of immigrants was actually pretty small. We'll have rooms for them in no time.

The cold season is coming. Not that we'll notice much since we don't do a lot of things outdoors anyway.
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Re: Dwarf Fortress: Oh, We're Doing This

Postby Cisken1 » Fri Jan 08, 2016 5:25 pm

OOOH yes! I remeber this from back in the T17 forum days.

Didn't everyone go stark raving mad and die?
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Re: Dwarf Fortress: Oh, We're Doing This

Postby Pilger » Fri Jan 08, 2016 5:34 pm

I apologize, but this had to be done:
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The clothing was my own touch to bring forth his gorgeous eyes.
Last edited by Pilger on Fri Jan 08, 2016 5:38 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Dwarf Fortress: Oh, We're Doing This

Postby Cisken1 » Fri Jan 08, 2016 5:36 pm

Oh my, the sexyness! :o
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Re: Dwarf Fortress: Oh, We're Doing This

Postby Zeor » Fri Jan 08, 2016 6:14 pm

Oh my god I want to hug the Internet. :D You are amazing, dude.

By the way, folks, feel free to speak up if there's something visual that you really can't comprehend, or if you want a status update on your dorf.
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Re: Dwarf Fortress: Oh, We're Doing This

Postby Zeor » Sat Jan 09, 2016 5:52 am

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Here's how I'm doing, for example. I guess these dwarves really like the furniture we've got so far. And I'm a fan of braids. Like, "eh, too much work to braid the other hair, so just shave it off."

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Speaking of me, I have a project for me. We need a well, so it's on Zeor to dig a channel to the river. Hopefully this won't result in my terrible de--haha! Look at this crap, I'm not even trying. I bet there are a few pyrites hanging in my beard.

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Alright, release the flood I guess. Oh nooo the kitty followed me

Actually the cat and I easily outran the influx of water. Sorry to disappoint.

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Then Munkee... detailed over the stairway I used? I'm not sure what happened here. This stuff is complicated.

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Pilger definitely found himself a job. Thankfully it looks like the plants growing around here do make booze. There's the upside to the wonky boundaries of our fortress. We will not go wanting for harvestable vegetation.

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Then he... fell asleep in the storeroom. You have a bed!

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I bet you are annoyed, ya tit! Also good crap, how pleasurable is our furniture? Do we need a cleaning crew in here?

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Problem isn't exclusive to Pilger, I guess. Everybody has a bedroom, but I guess they don't always make it there.

I'm pretty sure it's winter by now, too.

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Get a load of this crap. This new secret tech they call "bins." These are just full of thingies, the dwarves seem to know how to organize them automatically, and we're now using only a tiny fraction of our available storage space. Nice!

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S2K's sort of twiddling his thumbs, so I assign him to help Munkee get all this stone detailing done.

Our craftsdwarves are getting pretty good at this. Viceroy has his figurine-making form down pat.

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I followed someone carrying something to the refuse heap. I guess it was a turtle shell -- I should see if we can use those in some crafts. Anyway I guess somebody's been killing chinchillas?

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F%#* these guys, apparently.

I wonder if they're being hunted but not butchered. That w is a wolverine. Definitely screw those.

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Still working on this well. Got myself stuck. The water's not very deep though. Hope that's ok.

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I really screwed this well up. Now I can't get rid of that ramp. That ugly blue triangle's stuck there. At least I did get the well built eventually. ...I screwed the dining room up too. Splatterbelch.

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This update is all chaotic. Even my screenshots seem to have gotten out of order. Anyway, Slick, Sup and Viceroy are all making masterpieces now. Can't hate that too much.

Nothing horrible's happened yet, but give it time.
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Re: Dwarf Fortress: Oh, We're Doing This

Postby Pilger » Sat Jan 09, 2016 3:18 pm

Oh, lil' Pilger Dwarf is a brewer. That's nice. :)

But he's awful ugly. I'll see if I can find some time to draw some more of us.
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Re: Dwarf Fortress: Oh, We're Doing This

Postby Zeor » Sat Jan 09, 2016 5:31 pm

Slick and I might be related or something.
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Re: Dwarf Fortress: Oh, We're Doing This

Postby Zeor » Sun Jan 10, 2016 9:21 am

Didn't feel like doing a whole hell of a lot tonight, but I did just want to take care of a couple of little things while I remembered them, and figured I'd show off a couple of Dwarf Fortress' interesting and granular features since most of the people here aren't too familiar with it.

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Here's that cat! Apparently that cat is the size of a pony and is every color.

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I haven't made it very apparent in this game so far, but there's always a lot of Z axis crap happening. I mentioned earlier that the brown Os in the field were tree trunks. This is what they look like if you go one layer up. Branches! And these go on for a good several more vertical layers.

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I checked out Splapp for no apparent reason. Doing pretty averagely, but that is a good review for the Pilger Brewery. Should have known this guy was connected with the chinchilla killings.

Anyway this is a good showing of the sort of game DF is. Look at this: Sometimes feels sad at being separated from a loved one. DF is an extremely comprehensive dynamic story simulator. Splapp the dwarf had some sort of life before he got scuttled off to Splatterbelch, and he might not be happy about having to leave it behind.

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Speaking of family, ha ha! Blinx has Cyclaws for a dad and Alien King for a mom. And case in point, Cyclaws has a daughter back home. And a ton of siblings I guess.

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Sarge fell asleep in the middle of the kitchen. I cannot imagine why. Someone else is just standing on him while he makes some meals. Reminds me, I should check out what we're eating now. Should be something better than leaf leaves.

I think this has become enough of a problem for McCluck that it's affecting his mood. Well then go use your bed, ninny!

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I was gonna wrap it up as soon as I finished some small indoor stockpiles for wood and stone to cut the carpenters' and masons' travel time, but suddenly Viceroy snapped into a fey mood and ran off to take over the craftdwarf's workshop. Thankfully, whatever he has in mind can apparently be made using only chalk.

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We're all kinda kickin' ass here. Look at me, I'm a legendary miner. And Sup sometimes finds masterful wood works under his fingernails.

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That dude knows his way around a figurine.

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Seems to be a figurine of a dwarf getting his mouth mutilated by a laughing dingo. That's... there's that. Maybe we'll just let you hang onto that, Viceroy.

Hang on, chalk cabochons? Maybe we haven't been utilizing our most abundant resource fully. I might experiment with this if we ever dry up our supply of pyrites.
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Re: Dwarf Fortress: Oh, We're Doing This

Postby Zeor » Mon Jan 11, 2016 7:28 am

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I dug down a few layers and started a strip mining operation in hopes of finding some actually interesting minerals around here. Guess I found some, uh, hornblende. That's exciting, maybe.

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I asked Slick to make some statues for the little well room, and he made a masterpiece one out of diorite! And it's an elf being killed by a goblin! Awesome.

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Meanwhile there's this. I have nothing to say about it.

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Boom. Lapis.

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I followed this wolverine around and Sarge McCluck actually came along and made himself useful. He hunted the crap out of it and then I think he even brought it inside to be butchered.

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So I'm sort of a dope. I was thinking of getting beekeeping off the ground if I can, so I made a couple of wooden nest boxes. Well it turns out these are like bird nest boxes because that's what nests are, Zeor, you hideous boob. Bees don't live in nests. Clearly this was not for naught, though, as Matty's now-mature hen had itself a squat on one and, in what I'm sure was a painful but ultimately satisfying process, let fly with at least 11 eggs. Alright, more food sources.

Well I guess this hasn't been as interesting as Dwarf Fortress can bKABOOOM

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Whoops.

When I leveled off the front of our fortress, I unwittingly left an overhang of land overhead. I decided to have that removed. Well, S2K puttered along to do his job, started on the inside end and disconnected the entire hanging ledge, causing the land mass to fall on the trade depot and anything near it. Somebody, Run I think, received noteworthy but not terrible injuries. The depot is wrecked. Star and Moon and a stray cat are killed. Not sure if it was the cat we were looking at earlier.

(those gray squares are lingering dust clouds from the collapse)

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Furthermore, the collapse actually broke through into the channel I dug for the well. S2K managed to land in it. He's dazed and seriously traumatized, but not hurt.

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That cat had a life too, jerk.

He'll be alright.
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That ramp I complained about earlier saved his life, though. I guess that channel filled up pretty well.

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Aaaaand a few pretty important goods fell in there. I don't think we're getting them back.
That was a pretty good little disaster.

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While all this collapsing and dying is going on, we get a small number of new immigrants and a visit from an elven caravan. We again manage to get a trade depot constructed in the nick of time. Pooka demonstrates another fantastic benefit of using bins, as he can now carry a whole ton of finished goods to the depot in one unit.

That capital B against the red background is Worm Mad casually passing through while carrying a dead boar. I have no idea.

Elves are dumb. They complain about us hunting things and cutting down trees, they act all high and mighty and snooty and they make jokes about our height and they never have anything good to tra--Armok Christ is that a wolf in a cage?!
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Okay, we'll take that. And also some little fruits that we can probably use to make hooch.

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Surprisingly, we're doing a pretty fair job now of getting meat. I'm a little surprised they didn't try to eat the cat.
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Re: Dwarf Fortress: Oh, We're Doing This

Postby Star and Moon » Mon Jan 11, 2016 11:49 pm

I never even did anything before I died.

Oh well, I never do anything anyway. Seems fitting.
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Re: Dwarf Fortress: Oh, We're Doing This

Postby Zeor » Tue Jan 12, 2016 12:18 am

Nobody can take this from the elves. They are a fair, elegant, beautiful peopoh my GOD

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Re: Dwarf Fortress: Oh, We're Doing This

Postby SupSuper » Tue Jan 12, 2016 12:23 pm

This isn't the Dwarf Fortress I remember! Possessions ending peacefully? Trades actually being fruitful? The Z-axis not screwing you ov-
Zeor wrote:Image

Whoops.

oh ok that's more like it

I am deeply amused by my dwarf's obsession with beds though. Who needs furniture when you can have beds! Beds for sitting on! Beds for eating on! Beds for your pets! Beds for your beard!
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Re: Dwarf Fortress: Oh, We're Doing This

Postby Slick » Tue Jan 12, 2016 10:23 pm

Ahahaha StarNMoon died first! Maybe I wont be most useless this year! :D

I was going to do what Pilger did with my character and have him gradually mutate but since OC crapped out on me yesterday I'm just going to upload the final pic instead.
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